Hey there, it's been a while

I know its been a while since my last post.. a long while, but I need to vent.

I'm nineteen and I already have commitment issues. I don't know what's wrong with me.
I just know I'm scared to be left again. That's all I know.. people are just REALLY good at leaving me. So, to give myself to another is just a really scary thought.

I'm also the one to get attached, that's why I got hurt in the first place, I forgot how to keep my distance. I opened up, now look where it got me. Someone loves me, or at least is on his way to loving me, but I can't even agree to be his girlfriend. Now, I can't even sleep in my own bed without him. I'm stuck.
Worst part is, I don't think he comprehends my emotional insecurities. But I'm able to play it cool and ignore it long enough not to burst into tears.
He is good to me. For the most part, I love everything he is to me.

He wants to take care of me, have a family with me, just be WITH me. I can't remember the last time someone has invested so much time and effort into me, into an 'us'.

I'm happy. I found love, my TRUE friends, and a newfound appreciation for my family that's so much greater than I every thought possible.

Good things-
He has agreed to help me carry on my last name
He understands why I won't be his girlfriend yet
He is patient, kind, and always there
So many other good qualities.

I'm two months away, lets hope he continues to be patient.