dustin michael johnson

you were my first love. & so far, my closest to ever being 'in love'. It's been a little over two years since we broke up, & now I'm finally beginning to understand everything.

I broke your heart, betrayed you. For what? Someone I consider the biggest mistake of my life.

I dedicated 3 years to you, some of the most wonderful times of my life. We did a lot of growing up together. A lot. The quiet girl & the kid who was so angry at life he didn't know what to do with himself. May 20, 2005; we went on our very first date. Driven by Brie, we drove to Mira Mesa (I never get that area right) and saw the Star wars Episode III. Words couldn't describe how incredibly nervous I was. The bunnies, the security guard, the existentialism of it all.

May 30, 2005; the day my life truly began. No matter how cliche it may seem, no day before this day truly mattered. This day marks the first day I truly knew how to smile, love, trust, feel. Everything a first love should teach, I learned ten fold.

Life together was incredible. We hit rough waters, but nothing that we couldn't overcome. Everyone wanted to be us, it was the purest form of love that one could find. It was two opposites coming together, growing, changing..

You taught me so much during our time together. I learned to accept myself, I developed a voice, a style. I can't possibly thank you enough for what you helped me become.

We'll skip ahead to post break up. Senior year. What a great year, we ran the battalion, drill teams, got ready to go to college. We even flew cross country together. You found new love, I found jealousy. I don't think I ever really hated her, of course she had traits I found rather annoying, but we were once friends. I've come to find out I was so harsh out of lord knows what.. jealousy? Envy? If I'm the one who broke it off, how come I came out the miserable one? It wasn't fair to you & now, I don't even have you in my life.

Then I left to school, you were so proud of me. We video chatted as often as possible, you saw me shrink (most exciting part), you saw me doing it on my own. When it came to your growth, it seemed I couldn't care less, maybe it was still those feelings carrying on. You got fed up and removed me from your life, now I feel it. it hurts, but i don't blame you, not for one minute. Maybe we can be friends again. Now that I acknowledge all of all this, you might give me another chance.

I love you & always. You can never forget your first love.